Its been a little while since I wrote last. When my writing stops or I go quiet, sometimes its because I am kinda standing still in my life in a way...this time it has been because of fear.
The last two weeks have flown by...each day has been such a mix, with hopeless moments followed by encouragement from the Lord.
His steadfast lovingkindness definetly sums up my last two weeks.
College is a huge challenge for me. I am so thankful to know that I'm ment to be there. God has shown this to me clearly through His Word and opened the doors for me to go to college. It was given to me by Him and its a gift I am thankful for it.
But boy is it a challenge!!
The course I am doing doesnt have a whole lot of class hours, I havnt had that many exams so far and overall it shouldnt be that intimidating, but to me it is.
I am 25, (26 next month...mini life crisis ahead!!:)) and I have never been good at dealing with academic stuff. I have always wanted to teach children. Always. But because of a deep rooted knot of fear in me I never have moved too near to this dream of mine..Ive kept it at a reasonable distance. Now, honestly by the grace of God, I am in college and I do like it and sometimes even love it. But I see that girl in me who is so afraid, paralysed with fear sometimes that the thought of going into some classes(mainly Irish) just gets the better of me.
Why am I saying all this...well when I write I process things and can think things through, this is how God made me and I'm thankful for it, also I am writing because though this season seems to be constant mind battles it is also a wonderful time to learn to trust God more. And learn how to walk with Him through the things that seem dark, too much and unachievable to me.
God is able. I believe this truly. And as I go through this college year I see His care for me and love for His will to be done and His name to be glorified. This may mean that we will have to face things that seem scary and break us down a little or a lot but I see glipses of the good He is working out and the plan He has and this is a blessing.
I dont know about you, but so often for me I want to put my best foot forward, I want to be seen at my best and to be doing the right things. If I know I cant do this then I dont even try and backaway from whats before me. Now with the help of Jesus, who gave all up in heaven to come to earth for us, I am trying to walk and be ok if it isnt my best step or if I make a mistake. I hate standing still with the Lord. I always want to be moving forward, even if it doesnt always look pretty or if I looking like I am not in control or able...I dont want to be in control. I want to give my life to Christ each day a new and then do my best but know that it isnt by works that we are saved but by faith and the grace of God.
People often say that God has a great plan for our lives, better than we can think of. This is true. Lets surrender to it each day and let Him in control of how that day may look.
Now I best go finish this paper....'be creative' post to come tomorrow.
For now dear friends, whatever you face, face it with the Lord and give it all to Him.
To Him be the glory forever and ever.
<3
The last two weeks have flown by...each day has been such a mix, with hopeless moments followed by encouragement from the Lord.
His steadfast lovingkindness definetly sums up my last two weeks.
College is a huge challenge for me. I am so thankful to know that I'm ment to be there. God has shown this to me clearly through His Word and opened the doors for me to go to college. It was given to me by Him and its a gift I am thankful for it.
But boy is it a challenge!!
The course I am doing doesnt have a whole lot of class hours, I havnt had that many exams so far and overall it shouldnt be that intimidating, but to me it is.
I am 25, (26 next month...mini life crisis ahead!!:)) and I have never been good at dealing with academic stuff. I have always wanted to teach children. Always. But because of a deep rooted knot of fear in me I never have moved too near to this dream of mine..Ive kept it at a reasonable distance. Now, honestly by the grace of God, I am in college and I do like it and sometimes even love it. But I see that girl in me who is so afraid, paralysed with fear sometimes that the thought of going into some classes(mainly Irish) just gets the better of me.
Why am I saying all this...well when I write I process things and can think things through, this is how God made me and I'm thankful for it, also I am writing because though this season seems to be constant mind battles it is also a wonderful time to learn to trust God more. And learn how to walk with Him through the things that seem dark, too much and unachievable to me.
God is able. I believe this truly. And as I go through this college year I see His care for me and love for His will to be done and His name to be glorified. This may mean that we will have to face things that seem scary and break us down a little or a lot but I see glipses of the good He is working out and the plan He has and this is a blessing.
I dont know about you, but so often for me I want to put my best foot forward, I want to be seen at my best and to be doing the right things. If I know I cant do this then I dont even try and backaway from whats before me. Now with the help of Jesus, who gave all up in heaven to come to earth for us, I am trying to walk and be ok if it isnt my best step or if I make a mistake. I hate standing still with the Lord. I always want to be moving forward, even if it doesnt always look pretty or if I looking like I am not in control or able...I dont want to be in control. I want to give my life to Christ each day a new and then do my best but know that it isnt by works that we are saved but by faith and the grace of God.
People often say that God has a great plan for our lives, better than we can think of. This is true. Lets surrender to it each day and let Him in control of how that day may look.
Now I best go finish this paper....'be creative' post to come tomorrow.
For now dear friends, whatever you face, face it with the Lord and give it all to Him.
To Him be the glory forever and ever.
<3
i had no idea you were going to UCC! what a learning experience you are having right now (in so many ways!). God bless!
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