So yes as Katie Tunstall says in her song Weirdo..."Still a weirdo after all these years"... yes yes I truely am. All my 23 years or at least what I can remember of them I've been unique,quirky even. I think we all must feel that way, that we are extra weird compared to the next person..we see it every day, people trying to fit in , be it with there clothes,lanuage, music, taste in films, hair do's, hair donts, tan..too much tan, no tan at all, friends, opinions, bringing each others group down so the one we are in, the "norm" we fit into seems like the "right" one. Are we..no matter what group we fall under or how much we try not to be in a group.. still trapped in that cycle of not comfortable in our own skin?? Yes some days its easy to say "well yes I am comfortable in my skin and happy with who I am" but how many days are there with the doubt,the unsureness, the self conciousness, the unsatisfation with our own bodies, our own minds, our own lives!
I can say completely truthfully that for me...the latter days far out weighed the foremore. I remember primary school-and I treuly loved it. I was definetly not smart or a quick learner.. but the funny thing was that I used always ask the teacher for more home-work..I couldnt even do what we got in the first place but yes I would still ask for more..you see even then I was unique!! Honestly though, primary school was great-singing in musicals,running for the school, playing with friends..it was great.
Then comes secondary school...I still liked it-parts of it. However you begin to notice differences around you, between you, between the other groups etc. Here is where for me a lot of self doubt and wonder came through. I'm sure it must be the same for all but its rarely talked about..only silly things get talked about..almost to just pass the time.Skimming over things that can take root and delve deeper into ones heart. Instead of just saying it as it is. Easier said than done I know.
I can safely say that since secondary school and the majority of the five years that passed since then, I spent most of my days not comfortable in my own skin..maybe thats not completely true, sometimes I would feel comfortable but feeling comfortable isnt always a good thing. Comfortable in the dicionary says "If you are comfortable with a situation, you are not worried about it" Its easy to be comfortable with or in a situation..just give yourself time in the situation and it will most likely become comfortable..again that doesnt alwasy mean a good thing.Does it. Things that become the norm for us does not make it the right thing, the right group..it just means its what we are comfortable with, what we are used to.
My Dad said to me when I was younger "If you dont go outside your comfort zone once a day you are not living" Yes there is truth in that.
Now at Twenty three and seven months I can say the days I doubt,the unsureness, the self conciousness, the unsatisfation with my own body, my own mind, my life, are growing less and less and I really mean less and less.Dont get me wrong-things arent always rosey, not at all, I probable am growing into more of a weirdo by the day...but this is me now but not just me.
I completely understand we are all different, and thats the way it is ment to be..(who would want two of me around-nothing would get done with all the talking!!) but the fact is we are all different. Please though if you, like me, have had many days of doubt,sadness..the feeling of being lost,being on your own,been scared,hopeless, remember you are not alone. On those days-which we all have to some extreme or another..please please give yourself a chance and though you may not believe, or want to believe or want to be seen to believe but please try it once, twice, time and time again...talk to Him our heavenly Father. I know it might seem weird, seem crazy, seem completely out of the norm but what have you to lose.
I have seen dark days..scarily dark days..and yes my family and friends were so good to me. However we are only human we will fall and stumble and let each other down but I can promise you something..He is always there, waiting for you, wanting to love you more and more.
So soften your heart towards the one so many hate to hear His name, to hear He exist, to hear He is there for YOU too.
Don't be like everyone else..
God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.
Martin Luther
Look out your window..nothing is the same, nothing is the norm, we are all different but one thing is for sure He is there. He is all around us. Let your eyes see..why else do we have them.
I Love you all, heres to a day not wasted.
God Bless,
Eimear
I can say completely truthfully that for me...the latter days far out weighed the foremore. I remember primary school-and I treuly loved it. I was definetly not smart or a quick learner.. but the funny thing was that I used always ask the teacher for more home-work..I couldnt even do what we got in the first place but yes I would still ask for more..you see even then I was unique!! Honestly though, primary school was great-singing in musicals,running for the school, playing with friends..it was great.
Then comes secondary school...I still liked it-parts of it. However you begin to notice differences around you, between you, between the other groups etc. Here is where for me a lot of self doubt and wonder came through. I'm sure it must be the same for all but its rarely talked about..only silly things get talked about..almost to just pass the time.Skimming over things that can take root and delve deeper into ones heart. Instead of just saying it as it is. Easier said than done I know.
I can safely say that since secondary school and the majority of the five years that passed since then, I spent most of my days not comfortable in my own skin..maybe thats not completely true, sometimes I would feel comfortable but feeling comfortable isnt always a good thing. Comfortable in the dicionary says "If you are comfortable with a situation, you are not worried about it" Its easy to be comfortable with or in a situation..just give yourself time in the situation and it will most likely become comfortable..again that doesnt alwasy mean a good thing.Does it. Things that become the norm for us does not make it the right thing, the right group..it just means its what we are comfortable with, what we are used to.
My Dad said to me when I was younger "If you dont go outside your comfort zone once a day you are not living" Yes there is truth in that.
Now at Twenty three and seven months I can say the days I doubt,the unsureness, the self conciousness, the unsatisfation with my own body, my own mind, my life, are growing less and less and I really mean less and less.Dont get me wrong-things arent always rosey, not at all, I probable am growing into more of a weirdo by the day...but this is me now but not just me.
I completely understand we are all different, and thats the way it is ment to be..(who would want two of me around-nothing would get done with all the talking!!) but the fact is we are all different. Please though if you, like me, have had many days of doubt,sadness..the feeling of being lost,being on your own,been scared,hopeless, remember you are not alone. On those days-which we all have to some extreme or another..please please give yourself a chance and though you may not believe, or want to believe or want to be seen to believe but please try it once, twice, time and time again...talk to Him our heavenly Father. I know it might seem weird, seem crazy, seem completely out of the norm but what have you to lose.
I have seen dark days..scarily dark days..and yes my family and friends were so good to me. However we are only human we will fall and stumble and let each other down but I can promise you something..He is always there, waiting for you, wanting to love you more and more.
So soften your heart towards the one so many hate to hear His name, to hear He exist, to hear He is there for YOU too.
Don't be like everyone else..
God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.
Martin Luther
Look out your window..nothing is the same, nothing is the norm, we are all different but one thing is for sure He is there. He is all around us. Let your eyes see..why else do we have them.
I Love you all, heres to a day not wasted.
God Bless,
Eimear
Im super stoked with your blog. 'For what cab be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly percieved ever since the creation of the world...' Romans 10:19-20
ReplyDeleteIm so encouraged by your witness of Salvation through Jesus Christ xxx